


Hold On

by yoursecretbattle



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 09:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11124174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoursecretbattle/pseuds/yoursecretbattle
Summary: Jay's had a rough 48 hours. He finds what he needs when he gets home.





	Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably because I hated the way Jay and Mouse never got to be emotional about their history in the show.

The apartment was warm and dark when he entered. Normal, considering it was almost 1am in January and the heater was working overtime to rid the sub-zero temperatures from outside. 

Jay sighed in relief as he stepped across the threshold, the warmth sinking into his bones. 

He sighed again and suddenly now that he was secure in his own apartment, he was bone tired. His eyes itched with exhaustion. 

It’d had been a long 48 hours, the last 5 or so he’d been stuck at the station filling out paperwork. It was nuts the amount of paperwork the Chicago police department made their employees fill out everytime they discharged a weapon. Nuts. And Jay had fired his gun at a _person._ And that person had died. The pile of paperwork waiting for him at the precinct was enormous. And it wasn’t like it was the first time he’d had to fill it all out, not by long shot; but they’d been working on the case since the early hours of the morning before and all Jay wanted to do was head home with the rest of his team and sleep. 

But it’d been Jay who’d fired his weapon and killed the suspect who’d realised that his crusade of getting back at all the people in his life that had somehow wronged him by going out and methodically executing each person and any witnesses he felt were worth killing, was coming to an end and had decided as a last ditch effort to take an innocent, bystanding child as a hostage to get away from the police. 

Jay didn’t even feel guilty shooting the guy through the head. Children were not fairgame. 

But along with the tree of paperwork waiting for him, so too was a tidal wave of memories and emotions that he always kept simmering just below the surface. But now they spewed forth and stampeded across his mind without his permission and so he buried himself in the paperwork, tears on his cheeks, thankful for once that the precinct was dark and empty and waited for the issues he’d developed while in Afghanistan to put themselves back in their rightful place. 

So, it’d had been a long day. 

But he was home now, warm and exhausted to the bottoms of his feet and he wondered if it was even worth making it to his bedroom. The sofa was looking very inviting now. 

But no, after 48 hours he was in desperate need of a shower, and his body would appreciate it later if he slept in his bed. 

He navigated his way through the apartment without turning on any of the lights, knowing the place well enough to find the bathroom in the dark. 

He flipped on the bathroom light and then stripped slowly, stretching out his stiff muscles as he went, _goddamn office chairs_ , and then stepped into the warm, heavy stream of water, bowing his head and letting the torrent pound at his back. He couldn’t stop a groan from escaping as the almost scorching water stole away the last of the cold from outside and massaged away the tension in his shoulders. 

It was only the exhaustion and eagerness for his bed that made him finally make a move out of the shower. He took care of business, slipping on clean boxers and a shirt from his laundry and then he finally, finally cracked the bedroom door open and slipped inside, as quietly as he could. 

He stood just inside the door for a moment, allowing his eyes adjust to the darkness once more, before he stumbled toward the bed in the middle of the room. 

He eased himself into the bed as gently as he could, trying, in vain as it turned out, not to jostle the mattress and wake it’s occupants. 

“Jay?” queried a sleep-filled voice from the middle of the bed. Jay could just make out the outline of a very male someone propping themselves up on an elbow, the mattress shifting under them as he moved.

“Yeah.” he confirmed in a whisper. 

“You ok, man? Erin said it was a tough one.” 

Jay sighed under his breath; he’d known they’d be worried. “Yeah, buddy.” He answered as he settled further into the bed, adjusting the blankets and moving closer to the warm body in the centre. “I’m fine. Had to stay back for the mountain of paperwork that needed my attention. You know.” 

They were still talking in hushed voices, but they obviously weren’t being quiet enough, because a disgruntled groan escaped from the opposite side of the bed, following by a shushing sound. 

Erin seemed to come more awake then, because she jerked and suddenly asked, “Jay?” and rolled closer to where Mouse was propped in the middle of the bed. 

Jay couldn’t stop the tug of a smile at her voice, more husky than usual with sleep. “Yeah,” he answered again. “Go back to sleep. I’m fine. Just exhausted.” He told her.

And she obviously believed him, because she shuffled closer to Mouse still, gave an accenting little groan and dug her face into the pillow. By the deepening of her breathing, Jay could tell she was back out in seconds. 

Mouse settled his head back on the pillow, moving slowly as to not disturb Erin behind him.

“You too.” Jay directed at Mouse; he spoke in barely a whisper, but they were so close now, Jay’s shoulder just a hair’s breadth away from Mouse’s chest that the other man heard him fine. 

Mouse’s hand suddenly landed on Jay’s ribcage, tugging gently, communicating clearly that he didn’t want that inch of space between them anymore. Jay willingly obliged and within seconds, the bed-warmed heat of Mouse’s skin was radiating up his arm. 

And suddenly that warmth was overwhelming in it’s intensity and a large part of Jay wanted to pull away from the embrace, pull out of the bed, the apartment, of all of this entirely, as emotion spiked behind his eyes. 

A larger part of him wanted him to stay, to curl into the warmth and allow himself to be scorched by their combined heat, to bathe and revel in it and as his cheeks became wet again, he found himself rolling into the embrace, rolling towards that loving warmth and he tucked his face into the hollow of his best friend's shoulder. 

The arm around his waist moved as he rolled and it tightened around his back, started a soothing stroke up and back as Jay tried to burrow further into the other man’s heat. 

He’d never let the man be here like this before; and with the never-ending strokes up and down his back in gentle, comforting swathes of heat he couldn’t help but wonder why he’d never let himself do this before. Why he’d never done this for Mouse. But as the tears dried and he the shuddering of his body abated, as his eyes drooped and stayed closed, as his breath evened out, his face still pressed into the warm skin of Mouse’s shoulder, he promised to himself that he wouldn’t deny himself this again. He wouldn’t deny _them_ his comfort any more. He would be there for them now, whatever it was that they needed. 


End file.
